Ramblings — 3: Online Dating
I have given up. I have given up trying to find a date. As a closeted homosexual, there is only so much one can do. One is not the active indulger of the gay scene in town—usually in fear of being discovered—and one is not quite blatant about one’s interest in men. These two qualities of a closeted gay guy limits the possibility of finding someone with whom he can share some intimate time. There is a serious deficiency of romance. Some girls come up to him in hopes of getting laid, he refuses to pay any attention to the assets she has to offer. Why? Clearly, breasts are not a commodity in the closet (of a gay guy). So the fact of the matter is, I have joined OkCupid in hopes of finding similar people and possibly a date. Yet, luck still failed me. Why? I had to put a bunch of pictures. In this world, appearance matters. People are attracted to physical features than a person’s persona per se. I dug deep into my storage drives and Facebook to find my best-looking pictures.
There is only so much a picture can convey. At times, a photo coveys more than what is (a picture speaks a thousand words blah blah). But most of the time, a picture cannot capture the essence of the individual. His/her personality, which can clearly be a sexual thing, is not reflected. Plus, if you’re not really photogenic, it poses a whole new set of problems. I consider myself the latter. I don’t see myself as an ugly guy, but my pictures aren’t the best to be honest. I am simply not photogenic. So when I upload these pictures on OkCupid, I think to myself who is even going to be attracted. I wish I were ripped so I could strip myself off of clothes and take “selfies” that I could possibly upload. But how am I going to be ripped in a matter of days. I do work out, but I do not have six packs per se.
My friends and coworkers have always commended me on my personality. They have always said that I am wholesome guy. I am aware about current issues; I am a jack of all trades. I am honest and ambitious guy. My ambition is a driving force in my everyday decisions. Yet, the pictures don’t show these qualities. They don’t speak to the larger audience it is targeting. There might be some that the pictures might attract, but the possibility of that is minimal. And clearly most gay guys put up with the effort of making an online profile to get laid. I’ve got messages on OkCupid that one would possibly find on Grindr. Yes, I did have an account in there but stopped using because I was freaked out by all the “forthcomingness.”
Anyhow, the fact of the matter is that unless people are willing to take the whole package as it comes, online dating is to no avail. If you’re one of those who go on a first real in-person date and never contact the other person ever, you’re a big douche. You’re selfish and you’re full of yourself. This hasn’t happened to me. Yet.